Truth Hurts

 There are many times that the Bible makes me mad. Really mad, even. There are times i want to slam it shut and put it on a shelf and not read from it again. It offends me. It throws some pretty heavy stones right at my head, and i have little room to move out of the way. Other books don't ruffle my feathers this much. Sure, there is a lot of peace, hope and the like to be found between its covers. But there's also some stuff that just makes me squirm.
 Take, for instance, the book of Psalms, one of the greatest sources of inspiration for modern poets, a one-hundred-and-fifty-chapter wellspring of comfort and joy.

Blessed is the one
who does not walk in step with the wicked
or stand in the way that sinners take
or sit in the company of mockers,
but whose delight is in the law of the Lord,
and who meditates on his law day and night.
That person is like a tree planted by streams of water,
which yields its fruit in season
and whose leaf does not wither—
whatever they do prospers.

 That's Psalm 1:1-3.
 I read that and think, You know, maybe i'm this blessed fellow. Maybe i'm this man, this one who delights in the law of the Lord, who meditates on it and grows and flourishes and becomes firm in foundation and yielding a great harv--

Not so the wicked!
They are like chaff
that the wind blows away.

 Ow. That would be verse four.
 See, the Old Testament, which the apostles called Scripture, is God-breathed and, therefore, "is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness..." (2 Timothy 3:16) Basically, in other words, it is for us. It is an examination tool, and a method of correction and instruction. And it hurts. Because, as a human, i am evil. Horribly evil. My heart is deceitfully wicked. Every inclination of the thoughts of my heart are only evil all the time (apparently the amount of wickedness within us is sufficient to make God become rather redundant in His descriptions). So as much as those first three verses apply to me or you, that fourth one applies to us.
 This isn't a one-time ordeal. This is throughout Scripture. Proverbs, or "The Book of Wisdom," if you will, takes only seven verses.
 This book, or these sixty-six books if you like, is intended to cut. It's intended to cut. It isn't a feel-good-book. It's a two-edged sword capable of dividing soul from Spirit, and marrow from bone--and it is pointed directly at you and me. Because, by nature, we're evil.
 Yet again i say, it's intended to cut. Sharply. Swiftly. And it doesn't stop until it's separated you from your very nature.
 The marrow, the interior region of the bone, the very core of it, the heart of it, is severed from the rest of the bone by this, the Word of God. It hurts.
 It hurts because it cuts deeper than any physical sword may come close to touching, and it splits you from your core, your thoughts from your mind, your intentions from your heart. It cuts away all that exterior stuff we call the flesh. So then we may be the blessed one that doesn't walk in the way of sinners.

 You'll find cancer must be cut away, infected tissue must be torn off, and necrotic limbs must be severed. And only then can life be preserved, only then can the body be healthy. It's painful.
 The truth hurts. And the truth doesn't care about our feelings. Just because it causes pain or it offends or it's not popular; that doesn't negate the truth of it in the slightest. In fact, it may serve to compound the factuality of truth when it hurts, because it's at that point that it's being quite effectual.
 There have been times i've been reading the Bible and fell into tears wishing that God didn't ask that of me, or that He didn't say that about people with my particular mentality or sin. But He did--nay, He does. The Great Physician had to start slicing away at my flesh, splitting it from my spirit. And He still does so nearly every time i open His Word.

 Pick up the Bible. Let it . . . Hurt you.

Costly Grace or Free Grace?

 After reading a paragraph i find to be borderline heretical from a book that has been otherwise wonderful, i am left with a writhing discomfort, grumbling and angry.

The specific quote is, "Paul understood that preaching truly free grace could lead a person to think they can live in sin. That's how amazing and how free God's grace is. We haven't truly preached grace in all its freeness until people say, 'Soooooo, does this means I can keep living in sin?'"

 I understand the idea here; he's not saying that we should live in sin, but he is presenting a false sense of grace if people do think it was without cost. I'm not into the free grace message. In fact, it makes me nauseous to think of grace being free. Indeed, it is something without monetary cost; the poor in Spirit are those who are called blessed and will be filled. To follow Christ wherever He goes is to be without home or pillow or even food for the next day. It's something that apparently favors the poor and, therefore, might seem "free." But it's the farthest thing from free, and i can't sit and hear the message of a costless grace without verbal objection or at least a sorely clenched jaw.

Psalm 4 says, "Be angry, and do not sin; ponder in your own hearts on your beds, and be silent. Selah
Offer right sacrifices, and put your trust in the Lord."

 Realize the importance of the progression here. First, be angry. Second, do not sin. This is an anger that stirs up for the sake of something being righted, such as a misrepresentation of grace. Following that anger is contemplation and a great searching-after, such that keeps us up at night, perhaps tossing and turning, perhaps exchanging our comfort of sleep for night-long prayer sessions. After this, we are to be silent; to listen; God will speak, and we must listen or else we act in rash haste that leads to destruction. Then offer right sacrifices, and put your trust in the Lord.

 Grace comes without monetary price, but it is actually the costliest thing in the universe.
 Giving up things for God has proven to be greatly beneficial for me. Albums, hobbies, movies, shows, what-have-ye. Giving these things up does not grant me any kind of righteousness, for righteousness comes from Christ alone. It does, however, clear out room in my self, which allows Christ to have more room within me.
 This is why we are dead to the law; we are no longer "bound" by the law, which means it's no longer a burden or a chain or an enslavement. It is now a joy. When i do something that i know Christ would want me to do, i become enthused because i know i'm making Him smile. It fires me up to do something else, something bigger, something better. It stirs up the desire to please Him even more. The more distractions and earthly joys i am rid of, the more joyous i am to let them go. This is how we're not bound by it; because it is now a joy.

 And that is not the cost of grace, that's me getting sidetracked. Let's look at that last verse once more; "Offer right sacrifices, and put your trust in the Lord."
 Offer right sacrifices; sacrifices holy and acceptable, or pleasing, to the Lord. And the sacrifice God wants us to make is of ourselves. He wants us. This is why included in the Word of God is a verse that says, "I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship"

 To present ourselves wholly to God as a sacrifice, just as Jesus was sacrificed for us. That's the cost of grace right there; Jesus was sacrificed for us. Our grace did not come cheap, and it did not come free. It came at the price of, "Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross."
 If you tell me that grace is free, we're going to have issues. If it didn't cost you the life of the One who loves you without condition, your greatest treasure, then you need to pull yourself off the throne of your heart and take a stroll to your own personal Golgotha and weep at the foot of His cross for a while. If we haven't preached a message of grace that makes someone say, "Sooooo, i loathe myself for what i've done,"* we're not preaching the true cost of the cross of Christ. This is often overlooked, but one of the greatest things that leads us to repentance is guilt. Worldly sorrow leads to death, godly sorrow to repentance. If we mourn like the world we will die like the world, but if we have sorrow like Christ's (note the accounts and causes of His weeping) we will be led to repentance.
 Grace is costly. It cost us Christ, the Word of God. It costs us ourselves as we present ourselves as living sacrifices. It is not free, and to see it as a "get out of Hell free" card is an abuse. It is not merely a means of being saved ourselves, but a means of salvation to the whole world for the glory of God. After all (as stated in a prior post), to break down "Redemption," which is the chief aspect of grace in our lives, in etymological terms, means to be "bought back." The very term implies a great cost.

* "Then you will remember your evil ways, and your deeds that were not good, and you will loathe yourselves for your iniquities and your abominations." (Ezekiel 36:31)

Taming The Tongue

 Cussing is not mentioned directly in the Bible, therefore we have no legitimate (read: Scriptural) authority to say that it's a sin. So i don't say it is one. This is merely a collection of some of the reasons i (emphasis on the fact that this is the personal conviction of one who is far from being scholarly) believe Christians shouldn't cuss and why i put such a weight on the utterings of our lips (especially those in thoughtless response to disaster).

 We all -or at least most- know that verse that says that what comes from the mouth is the overflow of the heart. As Matthew 15 puts it,

And he called the people to him and said to them, “Hear and understand: it is not what goes into the mouth that defiles a person, but what comes out of the mouth; this defiles a person.” Then the disciples came and said to him, “Do you know that the Pharisees were offended when they heard this saying?” He answered, “Every plant that my heavenly Father has not planted will be rooted up. Let them alone; they are blind guides. And if the blind lead the blind, both will fall into a pit.” But Peter said to him, “Explain the parable to us.” And he said, “Are you also still without understanding? Do you not see that whatever goes into the mouth passes into the stomach and is expelled? But what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart, and this defiles a person. For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false witness, slander. These are what defile a person. But to eat with unwashed hands does not defile anyone.” (v. 10-20)

 That's puts a great weight on words. Even still, it does not denote cussing specifically. This is rather towards instruction and teachings; every plant that God has not planted will be rooted up (every teaching not from God will be destroyed); and if the blind lead the blind then both fall into the pit. Whatever instruction we subject ourselves to is the same way; it will be rooted up if it's not from God, and those we let ourselves be led by, if blind they be, will lead us into the same pit. Whatever instruction you receive extra-Biblically, be careful that it does not enter the heart without first being subjected to the Word of God.

 Here in Romans, Paul mentions the great importance on the tongue;

...if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved. (Romans 10:9-10)

 With the mouth, there is a matter of  confession made unto salvation. It's not simply words that come from the mouth, but the extension of the heart. If our heart is driven by God, our words will be from God and, therefore, good (we will share the Gospel -literally Good News- with our mouth). If our heart is evil (or not of God), we can still lie about being righteous but even the profession of righteousness is unholy. The very saving power of Christ works in our heart, but it is not brought to fruition until it reaches our lips as confession.
 We may confess without coming to salvation, but we cannot come to salvation without confession.

 James has some of the stronger depictions of the importance of what we say;

If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person's religion is worthless. Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world. (James 1:26-27)

 The essence of this is (along with the following passages), if we do not control our tongue, it will control us. Our belief system, our faith and our hope, is worthless if we do not "bridle [our] tongue[s]." Living in the world but not being of it is the only way we can be unstained from the world. We must wear the armor of God if we're to keep our inner-man from dirt, filth, bruising and beatings. Part of that armor, the shield of faith, mandates works in order to remain. These works, which reinforce our protection from the proverbial elements, are those such as visiting orphans and widows in their affliction; the works of faith which include consoling the mourning, giving to the needy, listening to the heavy-hearted, speaking to the empty, and the like. Of course, there are more works than these, these are but simple examples we may start with in everyday life.

For we all stumble in many ways. And if anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle his whole body. If we put bits into the mouths of horses so that they obey us, we guide their whole bodies as well. Look at the ships also: though they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs. So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things. (James 3:2-5)

 James, the same fellow who stated that religion without temperance is worthless, says that the tongue is boastful, and that if we do what we say we are perfect in our ability to control our every action.
 The imagery of the ships' rudders is one that strikes me quite profoundly; even if the winds are blowing eastwardly, a skilled sailor may use the sails and rudder to direct a ship westwardly. Likewise, if we are living a way of righteousness, the rudder must be controlled correctly; we must not allow this small member to turn us off-course.

How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell. For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by mankind, but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. (v. 5-8)

 This is the specific direction the tongue would try to set us; Hell. The Truth shall set us free, we often hear, but how much easier a lie is to tell. Not only that, we don't have to keep track of what story has been told when only the truth is. It's our nature to lie, to blaspheme, to spew wrath or poison, because we have a tongue that craves it. Our throats are an open grave, and the venom of asps is under our lips; what comes from us is deadly unless we are able to control it. Antibodies come from venom. Fire burns forests, but a clean fire purifies. The tongue is a great weapon or a great tool, never to be underestimated, and the natural inclination is evil because it is "set on fire by hell."

With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so. Does a spring pour forth from the same opening both fresh and salt water? Can a fig tree, my brothers, bear olives, or a grapevine produce figs? Neither can a salt pond yield fresh water. (v. 9-12)

 This, the final passage i'll use, says that we inevitably do one of two things with the mouth; bless or curse. It is impossible to genuinely praise God with holy lips (see Isaiah 6 for reference) if we use them to curse. These curses are perpetuated by the same whose prayers are detestable to God. If we sing a shout of Hallelujah praise, or if we join the chorus of the Seraphim in a reverent, "Holy, holy, holy," or if we go into the closet and pray in silence, it churns the heart of God with repulsion if we spew venom outside of these scenarios. Sadly, i've watched people who commonly and unabashedly make vile remarks about people based on appearance or accent or vocabulary six days a week raise their hands in praise to their Maker within the walls of the church on Sunday, but it pains me to consider that their worship is met with detestation by God. They have cursed the image and likeness of God; how can they bless that from which these people were formed? It would be a lie to say i've never done this same thing, and it's shameful to admit, but it is growing less common with help from the experienced Pilot.

 The first reaction to a frightening or disastrous scenario is perhaps the greatest insight to what the heart is filled with.
 This is precisely why taming the tongue, be it against lies or slander or blasphemy (or, though unmentioned, cussing), is so important. And this is impossible by our own work. It can only be done with the help of God.

Miracles . . .

In Matthew 12, Jesus heals a man who was blind, mute, and possessed by demons. It doesn't say how long it took this man to recover sight, but i'm assuming it was rather instant.

In Matthew 15, crowds brought the lame, crippled, blind, etc., and set them at Jesus' feet. It says He healed them. It doesn't say how long, it merely says that He healed them.

In John 9, however, there's a variation. People thought this particular man or his parents had sinned, as he was born blind. Jesus said “It was not that this man sinned, or his parents, but that the works of God might be displayed in him." This man was born blind for the purpose of becoming an example of God's ability to heal later in his life.
Not only this, there was action, though minor, required by this man. He had to go to a certain pool and wash his eyes. After that, he was healed. This strikes me as an act of faith; he could've just touched this man, said "be healed" and it be done. But no. The blind man had to keep the mud in his eyes and wash it out in that specific pool. If i were blind and someone spit in some dirt and put the mud from it in my eyes, i'd probably think they were crazy and wipe it off as soon as possible. But this required a demonstration of faith.

In Luke 18:35-43, He heals one such man who was a beggar. He told the man “Receive your sight; your faith has healed you.” It also says the man received his sight immediately.
"Receive your sight," He said. This man's faith in Jesus healed him. But the way Jesus commanded him, it was as though the man had sight within his grasp, he merely had to take hold of it. And Jesus told him to, so he did, and he could see that very moment.

There's a woman mentioned in Luke 8 who had a discharge of blood for 12 years. She'd spent all her money on trying to be healed by doctors, but none could help her. She approached Jesus and told herself, “If I touch even his garments, I will be made well.”
She had enough faith in Jesus that she believed touching His very clothes would be enough to heal her when every physician she could ever afford had been unable to. And her faith was fulfilled, seeing as she was healed the moment she touched his garment.
This is what i find interesting; Jesus had people swarming Him, and the NIV even says "the crowds almost crushed Him." He wasn't merely surrounded, He was being mobbed; people pressing against Him and crowding Him. When she did touch His garment, He asked who touched Him. Peter responded with “Master, the crowds surround you and are pressing in on you!”
If you were the reason a crowd had formed, and people "almost crushed [you]," it'd be pretty hard to discern one single contact of your shirt. And Peter knew that. But Jesus said this: “Someone touched me, for I perceive that power has gone out from me.”
He felt this woman's faith.
After she had fessed up to it, knowing it was she He was speaking of because her malady had been immediately healed, Jesus said “Daughter, your faith has made you well; go in peace.”
When this happened, it was actually while He was going to heal a dying girl, the only daughter of a man named Jairus (a ruler of the synagogue). Before Jesus had made His way to Jairus' house, the girl had died. He told them she wasn't dead, but sleeping. He took her hand, told her to rise, and her spirit returned, and she woke up.

There may be scientific explanations for many of the miracles He performed, such as maybe His saliva reacting with a mineral in that one specific pool that caused the blind man to see, maybe the woman's issue was working out and it just so happened that it stopped the moment she touched His cloak, maybe the girl was temporarily comatose and woke when He took her by the hand . . . I honestly believe most miracles to be scientifically explainable, but i don't really care if they are or not.
Just because we know the science of a child being formed in the womb doesn't mean it's any less of a miracle. Just because we breath in and know how the oxygen is dispersed into our bloodstream, that doesn't make it less miraculous. Just because there may have been a particular barometric phenomenon causing a cloud to be in front of the Israelites during the day and a fire by night, that doesn't mean it was less of a miracle. Just because we can explain how capillaries burst doesn't mean that Jesus sweating blood in Gethsemane couldn't be supernatural.
I'm not exactly the kind to have the reasoning of a child, as in unquestioning faith. I require proof in most instances. Sometimes there are scientific explanations of how things happen. Sometimes there is none. That doesn't mean they're any less wondrous or miraculous because we can understand them.

When God has the wind gathered into His fists, who am i to ask for explanation of His methods? Yet here i am . . . To quote the NKJV of Proverbs 30:2, "Surely I am more stupid than any man, And do not have the understanding of a man."

Are You A Child Of God?

I'm going to start off rather bluntly.
I am a sinner. I can't call myself a child of God. As hard as i try, i just can't.

I won't put the verses here, because i want to encourage you to open your own Bible and read it for yourself, not to have me spoon-feed you a select few verses and give you my interpretation of them. Read them, read them in context, and come to your own conclusions. Meditate on them.

Firstly, i do ask you to turn to 1 John chapter 3. I'm not going to give specific verses; please at least skim the chapter for yourself before continuing. Draw your own conclusions, your own convictions, your own personal revelations. Whatever you get from it, go ahead and get. What i'm putting is merely how it affects my life. I beg you to find out how it affects yours.

In fact, to make it even easier for you, here's a link to the ESV translation of that chapter on BibleGateway. You don't even have to grab your Bible. You don't even have to search for the chapter. There it is. Just click it.

Matthew 7 says that many who proclaim His name will be turned away for He never knew them.

What i get from 1 John 3 is this: if a person knows God, they follow Him. If they don't follow Him, if they keep sinning, they have not seen or known God.
It gets pretty harsh. It goes on to say that we're either children of God, or we're children of the devil. It says that whoever doesn't practice righteousness is not born of God . . . They're a child of the devil.

Here's why i said i can't call myself a child of God: i have issues with anger, resentment, unforgiveness, bitterness, impatience, and . . . Well, the list goes on. At the pinnacle of this pile of manure within me is hate.

There. I said it. I harbor hate within me. I don't want to, but it's made a home. It's like that friend who lives on your couch; you really want them to leave, but you can't quite kick 'em out, right? That's me and hate. I don't want it staying here, but i don't have the heart to sever it.
Now, you may be saying to yourself that i'm not that bad of a guy, and that i'm being too critical of myself. But no. Let me explain (despite what i said, i am quoting a verse, and will again by the end of this entry; if you want to know which verse, you'll have to read through the chapter yourself in order to find it--that way you'll read it in context, i hope).
"By this it is evident who are the children of God, and who are the children of the devil: whoever does not practice righteousness is not of God, nor is the one who does not love his brother."
So here i am, admitting there are those whom i don't love (Christians, even) yet . . . Yet the Bible clearly says that if i don't love my brother, i am not of God . . . I'm a child of the devil.

I think this proves i'm not afraid to admit my failures and faults, and apply Biblical standards to myself, even ones that may crush me.

We're not to just say that we love, but to actually show it. We're supposed to act on our love for others, we're supposed to show compassion, even if none is shown to us. We're supposed to build up those who would tear us down. We're supposed to actually love, and to love in honesty. In truth.

We're supposed to take action based on love. In a moment, without hesitation, we could make a witty and hurtful comment to someone who's said something hurtful to us. That's precisely when we're supposed to, without hesitation, show them kindness and patience.

We know we're to love one another. In 1 Corinthians 13, it says several examples of what love is (the antonym of many of the things i just said i have issues with), and says, out of faith, hope, and love, that love is the greatest of the three. As long as the three abide, love is the greatest to possess.

But how serious is it to not only be without hate, but to actually love? Well . . . There is the whole "children of the devil" thing. But also, if you don't love, what is left? Nothing? If we don't love, we feel nothing. It's apathy. It's lukewarm. We make our home with death if we do not love. In fact, we're to love to the point of laying down our lives for our brethren in Christ.
Would you put yourself in front of a moving vehicle in order to get someone else out of the way of it? Are you willing to climb onto train tracks to lift another off while knowing you couldn't escape calamity yourself, only spare them?
If the answer is a complacent one, you've taken too long. They've already been hit by the car/bus/train.
If someone knows to do good and doesn't do it, they've sinned, right? You know that saving them is the right thing to do. Anything less than right is wrong.
Again i ask, would you put yourself in the way of danger for someone else, knowing that there's no way for you to escape death yourself?
Now i inquire, are you still a child of God?

I'm not saying this to hurt anyone, but to encourage.
Be filled with love, and be filled with God. I adjure you to love! Love so that you may know God! Love so that you may see God! Love so that you may not walk in the path of sinners, so that you may be a child of God!
Whatever the circumstances, show love, care, concern, compassion, patience . . . Always love.

(here's the other quote i said would be put in):

"By this we shall know that we are of the truth and reassure our heart before him; for whenever our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and he knows everything. Beloved, if our heart does not condemn us, we have confidence before God; and whatever we ask we receive from him, because we keep his commandments and do what pleases him. And this is his commandment, that we believe in the name of his Son Jesus Christ and love one another, just as he has commanded us. Whoever keeps his commandments abides in God, and God in him. And by this we know that he abides in us, by the Spirit whom he has given us."
After reading this chapter a few times and pressuring myself by it, the closing verses are a much needed sigh of relief. It doesn't excuse my wrongs, but i am trying.
I might not be getting better about it, but i am trying, and i know that God is greater than my heart; i know God knows what is in my heart. I know God knows i don't want this to be a part of me. I know God is helping me along. I know God believes in me, and will help me to love wholly if i ask Him to.
God knows i can love. I know i can love.
And i thank Him that He's not given up on me.