Something my pastor said earlier this evening that has apparently taken root in my heart already.
He mentioned that John had faith that couldn't be shaken by things of this world, not even death, and said his prayer is that those in the congregation he leads have a faith like that; faith that makes them stand like a green tree in a desert, as that draws attention and people want to be by it and want whatever it is that causes the tree to remain healthy.
But this got me thinking; most trees in deserts are mirages.
The tree doesn't know it's fake, because it's just a trick our mind plays on us.
In thinking about this, i realized that the same applies to his idea of Christians being healthy trees in the desert. A lot of us perceive others to be strong and healthy in their spiritual work, but the abundance and strength of the tree is merely a mirage we convince ourselves of. Many of those who appear to have a closeness to God don't have it in all actuality. It takes proximity to realize this. Upon closer examination of the lives of the "healthy," we see that their spiritual prosperity is an illusion.
And i'm not saying i'm holy or righteous or closer to God than anyone else. I may simply be the tree that doesn't realize i'm unhealthy. Most of us who think we have a flourishing spiritual life, when it all comes down, don't. If it takes harsh criticism of me, so be it. Examine me so that you can see where i'm real and where i'm fake, then point it out to me.
I have faith that my faith would endure any storm life can throw at me, but so does everyone who claims dependence on God . . . How many actually do?
Thousands came to hear Jesus preach when He fed them by means of a miracle. The next day, when there were no miracles performed, the people were not fed, they faced a very short spiritual drought, they faltered and turned away. They wanted God now, without regard to tomorrow. They required constant nourishment of their spirit to be healthy. I want to be one of the few in that crowd who were satisfied with what He's already given me, so that i can endure tomorrow.
I want to be real.
I want a faith that endures.
I want to be close to God.
I want to love God with an intimacy that transcends limits of mortality.
I want to be tested.
I want to need Him. I need to need Him.
I don't want to be a mirage.
I want to be a tree with a taproot, not one of these Texas oaks with roots that sprawl about the surface. I want one root, one source, one truth, one faith, one hope, one supply, and i want it to run deeper than can be measured, down to the water that never dries up.
I want the enduring, timeless, living water.